A column about super cool sisters
Bonded through music and a whole lot more
I used to not be very nice to my sister sometimes when we were kids.
I would take one of her favorite rag dolls and hang it by the pigtails on the clothes rack in her closet.
When she got two Franklin half dollars for her birthday, I took them and dropped them down a hole in the front porch. They were recovered decades later when Mom had the porch rebuilt.
I accused my sis of putting cinnamon in my Cheerios one morning at breakfast. Our big brother responded by sprinkling cinnamon all over hers. (General Mills, you're welcome for the idea, but send the royalty checks to my sister). She cried.
When I wanted to watch "Batman" on Wednesday AND Thursday nights (it was always a continued story), she wanted to watch "Lost In Space" and "The Patty Duke Show." Mom laid down the law. I watched "Batman" on Thursday nights only -- IF I had my homework done.
So, when it came to my sister, I was kind of a brat. Probably explains why she and our little brother liked to gang up on me. I wasn’t consciously trying to be mean to her. I was just a dumb self-absorbed boy.
But there were other times we “Irish twins,” born 14 months apart, were as close as a brother and sister could get. Like walking home from school together. Like the time I fought two boys who were throwing acorns at her at the park. I climbed back down the slide and went after those guys. I didn't do well but Dad was proud of me.
Like when we watched "The Wizard of Oz" every year and we were scared together. We made it through a little more of it every year without shutting our eyes. Mom would relieve our fright by doing a perfect imitation of Margaret Hamilton's trademark cackle as The Wicked Witch of the West and make us laugh.
When we got older, things changed a bit. I relented on the TV wars when my sis wanted to watch "The Brady Bunch" and "The Partridge Family" instead of my favorites, "The Wild Wild West" and “Hogan’s Heroes.” I was getting into my early teens, and, well, those older Brady girls and Susan Dey as Laurie Partridge, y'know, they were kinda cute. Plus I’d rather go out and play baseball in summer when it was still light out.
And then there were the Carpenters. My sis loved the Carpenters. She had all their singles. And I think I got her their album "Close to You" for her for her birthday with my lawn mowing/allowance money when I was in seventh grade — and probably a Johnny Cash record for myself.
I mean to me, yeah, the Carpenters were okay, but their music was still kinda girly stuff -- like Betty and Veronica comic books.
Then one night several years later, when I was in college at Iowa State, I was flipping through my stack of vinyl albums looking for something to listen to on my stereo headphones before I went to sleep at night. The Allman Brothers Band was my favorite at that time.
But I found one of my sister's Carpenters albums, stuck in the middle of mine. It was "A Song For You." It had "Top of the World" on it which I sort of liked, so I gave it a try.
The first song was the title cut of the album, "A Song For You."
Oh. My. God. I had Karen Carpenter singing to me softly and sweetly, in my head. Just like she was right there, singing just to me.
I absolutely melted. I was a puddle. I was head over heels in crush. And I felt awkward as hell, because it was like having a crush on one of your sister's best friends.
And then the sax solo. Omigosh. If I ever wanted pick a song to slow dance with someone to, this would be it.
I found out the song was written by the great Leon Russell . The sax solo was by Richard Messenger. And Richard Carpenter's arrangement is nothing short of amazing. He knew what he had with his sister’s voice and boy, did he make the most of it. It’s still one of the most romantic recordings I have ever heard.
So, then and there, I became an unabashed Carpenters fan. The fact that Karen was a drummer (like me) and a really good one (not like me) was a plus. I later found out that she not only liked baseball but was a fan of my New York Yankees. Well heck, that was just icing on the cake.
Let’s just say I gained a heightened appreciation for my sister’s musical tastes.
When Karen passed away at age 32, I was saddened and I know my sis was too. Like the morning back in high school when she came over to me in the cafeteria before classes to tell me one of my music heroes, Jim Croce, had died in a plane crash in Louisiana, where our oldest brother lived.
Well, sis and I have had a lot more serious moments since then that have hit closer to home — the passings of both parents, both of our big brothers and other challenges. I rounded up supplies for her and my brother in law after the 2020 durecho. But I’ve always felt it’s usually been more her helping me than the other way around.
She is my compass, my ally and my friend. She doesn’t do social media or ever put herself “out there.” So, out of respect, I am very protective of her privacy, but I also want to give credit where it’s due because she has been such an important and irreplaceable part of my life.
Karen Carpenter's been gone more than 40 years but Carpenters songs are always on the local AM radio station I listen to. When I hear a Carpenters song, as one of their songs go, “it's yesterday once more” and it makes me smile — and think of my sister.
My sis messaged me not long ago that she was sitting out on a nice evening and listening to -- guess what -- Carpenters songs.
Richard Carpenter's not the only one who had a super cool sister who was there through thick and thin. He saw his sister Karen for the rose she was and put her and her talents on a pedestal through his own gifts.
So this column's for you, sis. And I'm still sorry for hanging that rap on you about the cinnamon in the Cheerios.
Pat Kinney is a freelance writer and former longtime news staffer with the Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier and, prior to that, several years at the Ames Tribune. He is currently an oral historian with the Grout Museum District in Waterloo. His “View from the Cedar Valley” column is part of “Iowa Writers Collaborative,” a collection of news and opinion writers from around the state who previously and currently work with a host of Iowa newspapers, news organizations and other publications. They are listed below. Clink on the links to check them out, subscribe for free - and, if you believe in the value of quality journalism, support this column and/or any of theirs with a paid subscription .
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I hope your sister reads this. A beautiful writing.
Loved this! Enjoyable read.